I was laying beside my woman the other night in bed.  For a couple of days prior, we’d been in the throes of a sustained relationship ‘disagreement’ let’s just say, but we were closing in on resolution I believed.  And, as she is a beautiful and amazing woman, and it had been several days, I was having amorous feelings.  So, in my usual clumsy way, I began to make my intentions known.

                I was rebuffed.

                My advancements were rebuffed with the immediate and smooth delivery of the following words -and I quote-:

                “I have to know that you love me, that we’re in love, and that you understand me.  You have to respect me, and care about me.  And all the feelings.”  With that, a firm adjustment of blankets and a shift in body posture left no doubt as to the victor in the field. 

                Holy shit, can I just build you a house instead, or win the Boston Marathon for you or something like that?        

                This was a singular blast of feminine firepower that reminded me of the sudden employment of a North Korean rail gun.  These are huge artillery pieces mounted on railroad-like tracks that can be rolled out of granite mountain tunnels in North Korea to fire a blast at the hapless and unsuspecting enemy at a moment’s notice.  Then they roll right back into the mountain to remain protected and ready.

                That’s what I’m lying next to at night. 

                Anyway, I have a newfound respect for my partner.  And,  (Jesus, I hope I get this right) I love her, we’re in love, and I understand her.  I respect her and care about her.  And all the feelings.

                Oh, and don’t worry- we’re back in business now.  But I’m still working on the ‘all the feelings’ part.  (If any male reader knows what that means, please send me a discreet message.)